Today is my mother's birthday I am in the good place inside and I can measure that by the fact that I've consistently gone to sleep before midnight three - four nights straight. This is no small challenge for me to overcome. I've found it is easier to quit smoking. When my motivation for life exceeds my early programming I finally free myself from the invisible ties which bind me from the ability to transform easily. So I've taken my own previous advice and begun to implement new impulsive ideas just because they guarantee my happiness. For instance I have enlisted my husband's help in the physical task of aiding me whilst I transform my workspace into a functional place I enjoy spending time in.
And I intuitively chose four books I've set out to read every day. For the majority of my lie I've only read one book at a time. I grew up in a bookstore from the moment I was born until my parents separated! I never limited myself to the amount of stimulating reading material I could enjoy at any given moment. I have my husband to thank once more because I've watched him open a multitude of books and teach others in town on a daily basis. His process of self-discovery and helping himself has help to inspire me to find my own way as well. Not to mention his patience with me and exercising wise judgements to allow me the space and time to discover everything on my own. I am so grateful to be in his presence, and to be so loved and appreciated by him. So what shall I do next? I am feeling the call to get into wilderness again. Also to seek out an appropriate concert to attend. I crave the feeling I get when present at a live music event experiencing songs which have moved and awakened me along this journey. Katatonia, Vast, and Amorphis are at the top of my list. The time has arrived to visit the very depths of my beautiful dark side. There is truth to be told through the shadows of existence. I am ready to follow this calling to explore, and I am thrilled to be present with who I am now.